Surrender...Never Surrender...Always Surrender

Why is surrender a word that most associate with losing, giving up, or raising the white flag of defeat?  Why do we consider those who surrender to be weak, unworthy, or worse yet – a failure?  Surrender has been used to end major events like World Wars and to stop someone we love from twisting our arms too hard by screaming UNCLE - - a close relative of the scary and shameful word - - SURRENDER.

“Never surrender” is what we are taught at an early age - - but, WHY?  Maybe that never surrender mentality is necessary in battle, in business, or on the gridiron.  Perhaps that never surrender attitude is beneficial for those battling addiction or recovering from cancer.  I know that I never want to surrender to my addiction again…like never.  Here is the dichotomy - - the issue - - the problem.  I cannot “never surrender” if I don’t first surrender to something bigger than the problem at hand.  Does that make sense to anyone but me?  Right about now you may be scratching your head - - stick with me as I attempt to explain by sharing a bit more of my life and my own story of surrender with y’all. 

My burden became as heavy as stone and my addiction was leading me straight to death.  I was a total loss you might say.  I had literally given away everything to feed my addiction.  I am not sure I had anything left to give save the clothes on my back - - and I would have given those for some more crack on just about ALL occasions.  In that moment, I realized that I was beat, defeated, and destroyed.  I was alone.  I was scared.  I couldn’t drive the bus anymore.  I had come to the end of me.  I was ready to throw in the towel, to check out, and call it quits and not just on my addiction - - my life.  I was D U N…DONE.

That’s when I realized how truly hard surrender is.  That’s when I realized that surrender took courage.  Surrender requires asking for help.  Addicts don’t ask for help for fear of being judged.

Come on…be honest…you know I am right - - asking for help is hard - - when is the last time you asked for help?  We both know it wasn’t yesterday when you were lost, and you wouldn’t even stop and ask for directions – I get it. That dates me, but you get my point.  We all think asking for help just like surrender shows our weakness and vulnerability. 

In fact, the opposite is true.

·       Surrender is strength

·       Surrender is asking for help (again strength)

·       Surrender is letting someone else drive the bus for a few miles (once again, strength)

·       Surrender is asking for direction when we are lost

·       Surrender is hitting my knees and looking up for God

·       Surrender is shutting up and listening to God (strength / patience)

·       Surrender is acceptance (that is hard)

·       Surrender takes courage, obedience, and perseverance

·       Surrender is prayer

·       Surrender is humility and humility, the proper focus of strength

·       Surrender says, “I will change” - - everyday

·       Surrender says, “I can’t…He can…I think I will let Him”

·       Surrender is establishing a connection with God - - a repurposing of sorts - - a welcome home - - a calling fulfilled

·       Surrender is my heart’s desire

·       Surrender is the ONLY way out of my addiction and prison of me

Once I realized what surrender truly was, I was ALL IN.  Surrender was freedom for me and for a life-long prisoner of addiction, that was all I needed.

I had to learn to surrender to God so that my addiction could end.  Funny, I had to learn that power of surrender in the face of the weakness of me.  I had to surrender so that I could say “never surrender” in my long-term recovery.

I know where I have been, and I will not go back again.  I WILL NOT SURRENDER.

If you are struggling, it’s okay…help is only a prayer away.