I consider myself blessed to work with people who are
trying to find their own recovery path in the journey that is addiction. Addiction has been called many things –
cunning, baffling, powerful. It has been
described as heartbreaking, controlling, demanding, consuming, and destruction
of the self. I have heard family members
describe watching their loved ones who struggle with addiction as the worst movie
ever made - - yet they cannot turn the channel, flip off the flat-screen, or
watch anything else but the destruction happening right in front of their own
eyes. Worse yet, most can only sit and watch
the downfall as their pleas to get help are either denied or fall upon deaf
ears.
Most people believe that those suffering with addiction
must hit rock bottom before they will ask for help. That was certainly the case in my recovery
journey. I had hit rock bottom and that
is where God found me and where my recovery began. However, in the last year I have concluded
that hitting rock bottom is not a requirement to start a journey of
recovery. Instead, I have seen friends,
clients, and strangers ask for help from hospital beds, jail cells, Courtrooms,
on Facebook Messenger, in emails, via text, and on Instagram posts and direct
messages. I have been contacted by
phone, in person, and by EVERY social media app there is (including LinkedIn…I
am just as shocked as you about that one).
I have also reached out to people that I knew were struggling (because
they told me) everyday until they were ready.
They were not at rock bottom YET but just struggling. I reached out…okay, I harassed some people
into recovery - - you know who you are, and I love you!
In the last year I have learned that my recovery and
my rock bottom is mine and that is it.
My recovery gives me some experience and wisdom, but it DOES NOT give me
permission to tell someone else how to walk their own recovery journey. I have learned to LISTEN WAY MORE than I talk,
to love way more than offer up solutions, and to sit quietly with someone who
is struggling to make it another hour, another minute, and just one more
second. I have learned that the best gift
I can to someone struggling with addiction is my time, unconditional support,
and love…
·
Not
my experience
· Not
my wisdom
· Not
my ideas
· Not
my solutions
· Not
DO IT MY WAY
· Not
my advice
· Not
my anything but TIME, UNCONDITIONAL SUPPORT, and LOVE
One of my favorite authors, Father Gregory Boyle, says
it best - - “there will never come a day when I am not 100% in your corner.” I love that so much that I tell it to every
client, anyone who is struggling with addiction, and all who ask me for help. I say it because I mean it and it is the KEY in
helping someone start their own journey of recovery and maybe in its ultimate
success. That simple phrase says…
·
I I love you
· I
see you
· I
believe in you
· YOU
are special to me
· I
support you
· My
time is for you
· I
am right here with YOU
· I
am on your team
· I
am not judging you
· I
am listening to you
· I
am for YOU
Listen up… YOU DO NOT HAVE TO HIT ROCK BOTTOM… If I
have learned anything else this year about people and their recovery it is this
- - IT TAKES WHAT IT TAKES. Whatever that is for that person in front of
me. I don’t get to decide what it looks
like and when.
My role is to just be there - - loving, supporting,
listening, shutting up, giving them my time, pursuing them with kindness,
praying for them and telling them that there will never come a day when I am
not 100% in their corner…
Is it time for you?
Do you want help? Do you need me
to listen to you? Do you want help?
Remember, it takes what it takes and only you
know that…. ask for help…today.
If
you are struggling it’s okay, help is only a prayer away.
BLOGGER's NOTE: This picture is of index cards that my Mom sent to me in prison. I cherish these cards and her for always sticking by me and never giving up on me. She listened when she didn't know how and she loved me when that is all she knew to do. Above all else, she prayed. . . all the time. Love you, Mom.
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